


triangle scheme

by crushgoth



Category: Total Drama (Cartoon)
Genre: Bribery, Cheating, Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fix-It, Fluff, except not actually HAHA, light angst? maybe?, my headcanon surnames for duncan & courtney are in this too, this is what actually happened i know bc i actually write for total drama :)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:22:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29840781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crushgoth/pseuds/crushgoth
Summary: The show hasn't been doing too good lately, but Chris has an idea on how to get the ratings right back up. One that involves Duncan, Gwen, Courtney, a fabricated secret relationship, and enough acting skills to properly encapsulate the utter agony that is teenage heartbreak.
Relationships: Courtney/Duncan (Total Drama), Duncan & Gwen (Total Drama)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 24





	triangle scheme

**Author's Note:**

> this started as a silly little headcanon/theory/concept on my tumblr but people wanted me to write something about it so here it is! the idea is that throughout the entirety of world tour (and all subsequent seasons), duncan and courtney remained a couple off-screen, but they and gwen were each paid a large sum of money by chris to fake a whole love triangle and cheating scandal to improve the show's ratings. this ended up being a lot more bittersweet than i originally intended but i still had a lot of fun writing it and i hope it's on par with everybody's expectations :,D  
> i'm keeping this as a one-shot as of right now but i might expand on it if people want me to, maybe doing a "behind the scenes" type thing for all gwuncan scenes throughout world tour. this one, obviously, is set during "i see london." if you want more, comment or hmu on tumblr (gothcourtney) and let me know! (any following chapters i do write will hopefully be more lighthearted than this one!)

“Cut!”

As soon as they heard Chris’ voice, Gwen and Duncan pulled away from each other, as quickly as if the other was made of scorching metal and would burn their skin if they remained in their embrace for too long.

“Okay, good work, everyone.” Chris clapped his hands together, before then narrowing his eyes towards a certain auburn-haired jock. “ _Except_ you, Tyler.”

“Huh? What did _I_ do?” Tyler put his hands up incredulously.

“You waited _waaay_ too long to stick your head in the bathroom. You gotta hop on it, dude. Nobody wants to watch those two losers suck face for five minutes. And I’m sure _they_ \- ” he motioned between Duncan and Gwen to emphasize his point, both of whom were hunched over gagging - “can’t take much more of it, either.”

“Extra hundred bucks for every take you make us do,” Duncan called out over his hacking.

Chris shrugged. “Whatever, dude; anything as long as my ratings are going up.”

“Tyler, just fucking get it right next time. I’m _begging_ you. Put me out of my misery,” Gwen pleaded.

Tyler said nothing, only walked off grumbling to himself indigantly. Chris did the same, though minus the surly facial expression and frustrated murmurs, probably to treat himself to some coffee.

“Good _God_ , Duncan, when was the last time you brushed your teeth?” Gwen snarled. She wiped at the corners of her mouth furiously, but this didn’t do much to quell the taste and instead only left her with midnight blue smears surrounding her lips.

“You’re one to talk. That lipstick you wear tastes like lead poisoning waiting to happen. Seriously, what do they put in that shit?” he spat back - before then turning to quite literally spit, directly into the sink. Gwen’s hands flew to her mouth at the sight.

“I’m sure Courtney’s a much better kisser, huh?”

He looked over his shoulder to grin at her - all signs of disgust had left both their faces. Gwen was now only wearing a teasing smirk, and Duncan’s expression had melted into one of pure affection at the opportunity to talk about his girlfriend. “Yeah, actually. Her lips are way softer than yours. And she uses vanilla chapstick, so she doesn’t taste all gross and artificial. Though recently she’s switched to this coconut-flavored one, which I also kinda like, but I think I prefer the vani-”

“Okay, loverboy, I _get_ it, your girlfriend’s a Goddess and I’m just some loser goth chick who’s your third wheel.” Gwen rolled her eyes, but the smile stretched across her still-smudged lips betrayed any notion that she was truly annoyed with him.

“And don’t you forget it.” Duncan playfully pushed her on the shoulder. “Though that’s not what the world wants to see, apparently. And it’s not what Chris wants, either.”

She must have noticed that a certain glumness had fallen over his expression and voice, because she put an arm around him and poked him in the chest. “Hey, man, the show’s called Total _Drama_ for a reason. You think fans want to watch you and Courtney be all… adorable and me be you guys’ single, cynical friend who cracks jokes sometimes?”

“I’m perfectly fine with that setup.” He shrugged.

“And you think I’m _not_? You know how much I hate ooey-gooey romance, but Duncan, you and Courtney are _perfect_ for each other. I’d never dream of getting in between you guys. But that’s not what the people want. They want heartbreak. They want betrayal. They want turmoil. If anything, this just proves how shallow the public’s lust for entertainment has become, but I digress.” She sighed and pulled her arms away from him, crossing them over her chest. “And if you start to have doubts about this again, just remember, Chris is paying us each _five thousand dollars_ to pull off this whole stint. I’d say both of us looking like complete and total dicks on national television is a small price to pay for that.”

He turned to look at her, his forehead crinkling from the way he frowned. “You think I’m worried about _my_ reputation? Like I didn’t spend the entirety of the last two seasons breaking the rules and causing trouble? Gwen, what I’m worried about is _Courtney_. Is it really worth it to put her through all this humiliation?”

Her lips parted as if she was about to say something, but she closed them just as quickly. She wore an unreadable expression as she mulled over Duncan’s words. “Duncan, Courtney _agreed_ to this. We all did. It wouldn’t be happening if that wasn’t the case.”

“I know, I just…” He stuffed his hands into his pockets and bit his lower lip, rolling it between his teeth. “I think I should probably go check on her. Y’know. See how she’s doing.”

She reached out and patted him on the shoulder, her smile having returned, though much more stiff than it was before. “Right. You go do that. I’ll go… Somewhere else. I dunno.”

Duncan nodded and raised his palm up to her in a goodbye. “Alright. See you around…” He curled his lips inward, suppressing a smirk. “ _Babe_.”

Gwen stared at him blankly for a moment, then broke out into a chuckle. “Ugh. Don’t even _joke_ like that.”  


* * *

She was exactly where he had left her - first class. Except that a certain melancholy was thinly veiling her otherwise peaceful expression. He noticed that she looked to be fidgeting with something in her hands, and that she was wearing earbuds, though they were hidden behind her thick brown hair and he could only tell they were there by the wires dangling from them. Another step closer revealed that she was humming to herself, barely discernible over the gentle buzz of the air conditioner and the violent whirring of the plane’s jets. It made his heart swell.

He took a seat next to her, gently nudging his shoulder against hers when she didn’t seem to notice his presence. “Hey, princess.”

Courtney tugged out an earbud and looked up at him, greeting him with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Hey.”

Duncan motioned to the earbud she was holding. “Can I…?”

“Yeah, sure.” He took it from her and tucked it into his own ear. It didn't take him long to recognize the tune, though once he did, his expression warped into one of surprise. “Sex Pistols?” A brief glance down towards the screen of her iPod confirmed his suspicions. “I thought you hated this stuff.”

She smiled at him again. Though it still didn’t _quite_ reach her eyes, it was getting there. “I used to, but it’s grown on me, because it reminds me of you.”

Unable to hide his grin at that, he moved to kiss her on the temple. “Mm… gross, don’t kiss me right now,” she murmured, her actions directly contradicting her words as she leaned into him. “You taste like Gwen.”

He laughed and circled an arm around her waist. His hand stroked up and down her side as if smoothing out the soft cashmere of her sweater. “Believe me, I don’t like it either.”

Courtney nestled into his chest a bit deeper, holding a balled fist to her own chest. It was then that he realized he’d never seen what it was she’d been toying with earlier. “What are you holding?”

“Oh.” She let the palm of her hand unfurl to reveal a seemingly nondescript item, one that only the two of them understood the weight and significance of. It was the tiny wooden skull he had carved her all those years ago.

This realization made his chest feel tight. He turned to press another kiss to the top of her head, which she didn’t resist, not even verbally, this time. “You kept it?”

“I said I would, didn’t I?” She turned it over in her hands again, giggling. “It’s still really weird and creepy, but… it’s from you. I use it to remind myself how much you love me.”

Duncan pursed his lips. “Do you ever forget?”

Courtney said nothing, only kept her eyes bolted onto the skull as it remained static in the palm of her hand, staring back at her with hollow wooden sockets.

“Court.” He tilted his head back a bit so he could look at her, study her facial expressions and body language better, but he kept his arm around her. “Do you ever forget that I love you? Or start to doubt it?”

As soon as he saw her bottom lip wobble, Duncan knew that she needed to be held. It was always the number one thing she craved whenever she was upset. He encased her into his arms immediately, burying his face in the crook of her neck and rubbing soothing circles into the small of her back. “Hey, we don’t have to go through with this whole love triangle thing, you know.” She said nothing, but gripped the fabric of his shirt. “Courtney, we can back out of this at _any_ time. We haven’t gotten paid yet, the episode hasn’t aired, and Gwen and I still need to redo the take - ” Her grasp on his shirt tightened, as did his embrace around her. “Shhh, it’s okay, Court. It’s all going to be okay. I _promise_. We don’t need to do this. Don’t be afraid to back out. It’s _fine_.”

When she unentangled herself from him, there was no evidence that she had allowed herself to begin crying, but her mocha eyes were still glazed over with sadness. She offered him a bitter smile before scraping at the corners of her eyes with her thumb. “I know, I know I don’t have to, I just…” She tucked her tongue into her cheek. “I could really use the money. There’s no guarantee that I’ll win this season, and if I don’t I - ”

“Hey.” He took her hands in his, locking eyes with her. “I’ll convince Chris and his guys to give you _twice_ what Gwen and I are getting. Three times, even.”

The tiniest of breaths escaped her. New tears threatened to pour over the rims of her eyes as she avoided looking at him. “Are you sure that’ll work?”

“I don’t see why not. Gwen and I might be making total douchebags of ourselves, but Courtney, you’re getting _hurt_. You’re really about to get publicly cheated on, does that not bother you?”

“I know it’s just acting,” she whispered, crossing her arms over her stomach.

“Yeah, and we’re the _only_ people who know. I mean, fuck, none of our castmates even know that Chris McPsycho put us up to this, 'cept Tyler. Court, you deserve a _way_ bigger incentive than what they're giving you for the way you’re about to be humiliated. They can’t put you through something like this without giving you a proper compensation. I’m going to make this right. I swear.”

“And if they don’t agree?”

“Then I’ll give you my share.”

She bit her lip. “I couldn’t do that, Duncan, I…”

He shrugged. “Why not? You had no problem doing it in Action.”

“That was _different_!” she insisted, a dark red hue dusted across her brown cheeks.

Duncan laughed and settled back into the plush leather of the first class seat, his arm immediately going back to her waist. “Alright, alright, tell you what. If you won’t accept money from me, then you know what I’m gonna do with my portion of it?”

“What?”

“I’m gonna buy a billboard.” He grinned, staring up at the ceiling lights. “And I’ll put it above the busiest highway in Toronto. And it’s gonna say _Duncan Hayes is a complete and utter fool who is crazy in love with Courtney Ortega_.”

Even Courtney couldn’t help but laugh at that as she allowed herself to slump her head back against his chest. “And what are you gonna do with what’s left over?”

“Buy you something nice?" he offered.

“Only if I approve of it first,” she countered back, lips curved into a cheeky smile.

Duncan laughed again. “That’s my girl.” He bent down to kiss her, which, much to his surprise and delight, she eagerly responded to. She didn’t care if he tasted like Gwen, and frankly, at this point, he didn’t either. He needed some Courtney-kisses to cleanse his palette of that artificial-blue-coloring abomination. (As great of a person as Gwen was, he didn’t trust himself to not actually pull back and start coughing and sputtering in the middle of their next kiss scene.)

Their kiss was soft, sweet, heavenly. Everything Courtney was and everything Gwen wasn’t. Part of him didn’t want anyone to think he saw things in Gwen that he didn’t see in Courtney - which, technically, he did, like the unique fashion sense and the love of grotesque horror films, but he didn’t find any of the things that had made him fall for Courtney in the first place. He didn’t care if the world thought he was an idiot, but having the world think he was enough of an idiot to relinquish someone as incredible as her was pushing it. Even if it was just pretend. Even if his “fans” were all people who were never going to have any real effect on his life. Even if he could always just tell people the truth once everything was all said and done. Each time they were filming he wanted nothing more than to grab the nearest camera and scream into it about how much he loved Courtney and how desperately he hoped he was treating her right.

When their lips departed, Duncan savored the taste of hers for a moment, then asked, “New chapstick?”

“Earl Grey tea flavored. I picked it up at one of those little gift shops during today’s challenge.”

“I still like the vanilla best.”

Courtney sighed. “I’m amazed how you actually pay attention to these things.” She beamed, and for the first time all day it looked genuine. He mirrored it back to her.

“Anyways, I should probably go, uh…” He jerked his thumb in the direction of the door. “You know. Me and Gwen, the, um…”

“Yeah, I hear you.” Courtney waved her hand dismissively, returning her earbuds to her ears and picking up her iPod so she could scavenge through her playlist for something new to listen to. Duncan assumed she had had enough of his punk rock and was switching over to something more to her liking, but truth be told, she was searching for the Ramones album he had recommended to her.

“I’ve barely managed to hold back my puke this far; hopefully I don’t give in this time.”

Courtney laughed out loud at this. “She’s that bad, huh?”

“She’s probably not objectively horrible; she’s just not you.”

Courtney hid a reddening cheek behind her hand. “Oh, stop.”

“I’ll think about you when I’m kissing her.”

“Alright. Good luck…” She jutted out her bottom lip and inhaled a shaky breath as if she was about to start crying. “You heartless monster.”

“Whoa, impressive acting. We’re gonna kill this.”

“The same _way_ you killed _me_!?”

“Okay, you’re overdoing it now.”

With a final kiss that she blew to him, he was off. Her headphones breathed life into her as they played the sounds of Duncan’s favorite band. She enclosed her fingers around the skull again, noting how warm it felt.

Duncan was right - they would get through this, and everything was going to be okay.


End file.
